Beth-El Baptist Church
10/16/05
Greg Tomlinson
What does a Godly wife look like?
In the United States the institution of marriage has been under attack on many sides and for many years. In the past, marriage was attacked in the realm of divorce and most recently marriage has been attacked in the realm of what some call “Gender identity”. Today we will take a look at the Bible to see who can get married and what a wife is.
1. What is the wife’s primary role?
Genesis 2:18-20
There are two primary functions that the wife is to have.
- Be a helper in the work with the husband
- Complete his need for relationship
The reason that God made woman was that on day 6 of creation, there was something terribly wrong with his creation. Man was alone. He had not “help meet” or helper that was compatible to him. Man may not have been aware of this need, many still are not even today, but it was and is there.
The word for “help meet” is the Hebrew word ‘azer’. Looking at other usages may help gather an understanding of the role of the wife.
Exodus 18:4 – God was mine ‘azer’
Deuteronomy 33:7, 26, 29 – God is identified as being the ‘azer’
Psalm 20:2; 33:20; 70:5 – God is identified as being the ‘azer’
Of the 21 usages of the word in the Bible, most of them identify God as being the ‘azer’. Therefore the woman plays a crucial role in helping their husband.
Ephesians 5:22-24 – Submit to her husband
Colossians 3:18
1 Peter 3:1 – Submit, even if your husband is an unbeliever
As a result of being the “help meet” to her husband, it is the wife’s responsibility then to submit to her husband’s leadership. He is the head of the house and she is to yield to him with the proper respect as a leader who has her best interest at heart. This does not mean that “he is the boss” so she needs to “do whatever he says” but she needs to recognize that the final authority and responsibility rests with he husband.
2. What are some of the wife’s secondary roles?
Genesis 4:1 – Bears children
Numbers 5:29 – Intimate relationship with her husband only
Deuteronomy 13:6 – Does not entice her husband away from God
Deuteronomy 17:17 – Does not work to turn her husband away from God
Judges 13:23 – Advisor to her husband
Judges 14:16 – Does not manipulate her husband
1 Kings 11:3-4 – Does not turn her husband’s heart from God
1 Kings 21:7 – Does not usurp authority over her husband
Proverbs 31:11-12 – Never causes harm to her husband
1 Corinthians 7:2-5 – Intimate relationship with her husband only
1 Corinthians 7:10 – Does not leave her husband
1 Timothy 3:11 – Respectable in speech and conduct
1 Peter 3:1-4 – Beauty is primarily of the heart and character and not external
The wife, as a God given advisor, can do much to help or hinder her husband’s walk and relationship with God. She needs to be sure that she does not entice her husband away from God (remember Genesis 3!!!). Since authority, responsibility and respect are due the husband, it is important that the wife not belittle her husband to anyone. She is to respect him, even if she does not believe he is respectable, and honor him, even if she does not believe he is honorable.
3. What are some “traditional” roles of the wife that are incorrect?
Genesis 3:16 compare Genesis 1:26-28
There are people who teach that the wife is to be a slave whose only job is to do only what he husband says. Instead, the wife is to be a companion and partner, neither above nor below her husband but beside him. The husband may have final authority, but that does not diminish her position nor her relationship.
Galatians 3:28 compare Isaiah 3:12; 1 Timothy 2:12
Ephesians 5:33
There are people who teach that the wife can be the head of the household and have that position of authority or that they are completely equal with their husbands in all things. Scripture shows that women are not less important but that they are still to submit to the God given authority of their husbands.
1 Peter 3:7 compare Proverbs 31:15-18
Some teach that the wife, as the “weaker vessel” is to be sure to look pretty and not do too much work because she is not strong enough. Scripture demonstrates that the wife is to be a diligent worker as well. She is to be giving to the family and not just taking.
4. How should the wife view her husband?
Genesis 1:27 – Also created in the image of God
Genesis 2:18-23 – Worthy of being helped by you
Ephesians 5:22-24
Ephesians 5:33
Colossians 3:18
The wife is to view her husband with honor and respect, even if she does not view him as honorable and respectable. It is the husband that is to be the head of the household. He may need your help from time to time but care has to be taken so as not to be usurping authority over him. You are his helper; he is not your helper.
5. What are some reasons that marriages are failing?
Genesis 3:6
1 Timothy 2:14
The wife usurped the authority of the husband and chose to take matters in her own hands regarding the understanding of the Word of God and did not seek counsel from her husband as the keeper of the word of God nor did she seek counsel from God as God himself. She chose to take matters in her own hands. Being relationship oriented, she wanted to improve things and take charge of making things better. As such she was deceived into taking authority that was not hers and listening to a voice and information that was not hers to listen to.
Genesis 1:26-28
Proverbs 31:27
Women are no longer satisfied with their roles as partners and focused on the activities of the house. In today’s culture, women are more often then not to be deemed as worthless unless they have a career outside of the house. In reality, the toughest job in the world is that of wife and mother. She carries much of the burden of raising and preparing the next generation of leaders.
6. What is our clearest description of a wife?
Ephesians 5:31-33
The greatest and clearest example of a wife is the church. It is the church that is protected by Jesus, her husband. It is the church that submits itself to the leadership of Jesus and knows that His decisions are for her best interest.
There is a great honor and responsibility with being a wife. It is a natural tendency of human nature to be sure and take charge of your own self and not to submit to anyone. Yet the wife is called to submit to the leadership of her husband. She also has the job of ensuring that the family has what is needed, not what is wanted, but what is actually needed.
Before breaking apart a marriage, husbands (and wives) need to see and understand what they are saying about Jesus Christ (husband) and His Church (wife). There is absolutely no reason that God will ever leave or forsake his wife. He has committed himself to her and loves her because of His nature and Character. He has made that decision. We as Christians need to make that same decision. Wives are to be their husband’s greatest supporters and encouragers. She is to work with her husband on making decisions, but to submit and defer to his authority and leading.